By Valaysia L. Smith
Teen Columnist
The growing pains we teens feel are often kept to ourselves, but they are real.
Everyone has been talked about in their family numerous times, there is no denying about
this.
Getting in trouble is bad, yeah we get that but do you really have to call nearly everyone
you know just to say “Hello? Yeah so and so just did this, I swear she/he gets on my nerves.
Yeah girl!”
I mean come on, that’s just irritating. We could be feeling bad and not wanting to talk
but parents instantly want to know “What’s wrong?” If teens respond that we don’t feel like
talking to anyone on any subject, parents often respond, “Oh look they have an attitude.”
Stop doing this; like can we have a moment to ourselves?
There are some moods that are not shareable. There is no real problem or issue it’s just a mood. It’s not so drastic that it has to be shared with a parent or even with friends.
Teens fear that their mood moments are private and history has shown that some of our private moods or thoughts, when shared with parents especially are shared with other adult relatives. What happened to “What happens in this house stays in this house,” cause parents really don’t follow this rule. Like ever.
If teens don’t pour out their souls to their parents when asked “What’s wrong?” there will probably be repercussions even if they are well-intended. Taking devices: phones, tablets, laptops, mp3 players, cassette players, sketchbooks, whatever teens hold dear to get their point across or force your kids to do something is the usual parental discourse.
Does it work? Yeah it does for the parents who have tech-addicted kids. The other half? Probably not.
Many teens don’t feel appreciated; some feel as if they are glorified maids and when they resist and get punished some parents respond, “All I get is attitude, they did it to themselves.” correction, you did it to yourself.
Let’s be honest, no one likes to do chores, but since parents have the power (that they abuse 24/7) those chores
often get passed to the children like we’re miniature servants.
Parents say “I’m not your maid, pick up after yourself.” I’d like to stop you right there because we never hopped into the world and said “Hello mom, I’m your maid, I’ll pick up after you”
When parents say, “Didn’t I tell you to wash the dishes?” Sometimes teens say to themselves, “Didn’t you use them? Why should I have to wash them?”
Parents say, ““I cooked you could at least wash them as a thank you” Sometimes teens say to themselves, “Did anyone tell you to cook? We have bread and peanut butter, you wanted to cook, you should wash it or at least pitch in and not sit on your bun spread out on the sofa watching Netflix.
Then parents point the finger and say, “I have rules.” Teens reluctantly follow the rules; we are not stupid, but it’s no fun being bossed around.
Wouldn’t it be better if parents created a team attitude at home with shared responsibilities? Couldn’t we have some time alone without something being wrong?
Teens have feelings, we like our alone time and know we should do our share.
But if parents had to explain all of their private moods to their children or risk being punished, or be ordered to do this or that on threat of losing their adult toys, they would understand how we feel.
We love our parents, but it really hurts us when our private moments, faults and short comings are told to our uncles, aunts and grannies.
I’m not sure if my peers agree with me or not but, both teens and parents could use a course in family improvement.
Many families are failing the grade.
