Dear Editor,
I am caught off guard. A death of someone I did not know personally but the death felt like family. Not a distant relative but more the sadness and despondence and emptiness you feel when you lose a mother or younger sister.
I was caught off guard also because I didn’t know him personally, but I cried like we were best friends. Each time a news story shows another moment about the tragedy, I cry silently to myself.
It’s hard to hide the tears from your mate but you try hard and eventually lose the battle of self control.
I continue to cry more so because he was a celebrated Black man who proved like Obama, that success and compassion and determination and preparation is not an anomaly among Black men.
I cry because other Black men cry. Openly and unashamedly. Heretofore I could hold back my tears at a funeral or disturbing and sudden loss because I leaned on the strength of other men in the crowd. Unity, I guess. But when men cry around you or you see men you respect and hold in regard not able to hold back the tears, your sadness now becomes universal and permission is granted to let it out.
Perhaps my streaming tears are the unleashed moments in my life I held back my feelings to be in control for I was in charge or expected to lead with displays of strength in every moment of difficulty. I am after all a man, type “A”, the Alpha male.
Time will pass and I will once again return to my emotional cocoon. But for now, I am pleased that I can let go, that it’s safe to let go. In honor of a hero, a Black man who excelled at his trade and was recognized as having done so by the Universe.
Peace be with you Kobe!
Victor C. Kirk
