By Victor C Kirk
I am only a few years into “retirement” and already sensing “anxiety”. Not sure what else to call it. There remains within me an urge to do something meaningful that is countered by “I am done” thoughts and “I deserve the rest”. I still have major life issues that consume a portion of my everyday thoughts but nonetheless I am technically retired as evidenced by having become eligible to collect the hard-earned social security check. Once I reached “the age”, my friends talked about “submitting my paperwork”. It was like a milestone reached or a rite of passage and all around me who had reached the age before me continued to remind me that “now was the time”. I was stunned at their suggestions and the act of submitting the paperwork for it seemed or felt like the end of life was near.
My days are spent managing rental property I somehow acquired over a decade or so of employment and spending valuable “personal” time with my spouse. This personal time is invaluable so doing something else becomes problematic”. My earlier employment sent me across the country and the state both for work and a deliberate effort to combine work with play. I managed to travel abroad a few times and to points of interest in Mexico. I even was invited and accepted a suggestion to take a cruse with my sister. I never knew how much fun I could have with a sister until then. But I still feel there must be something else I am supposed to do with my life.
I managed to convince my wife, or she convinced me to participate in “estate” sales. I love it so now I am not sure if it was her idea or mine. Had it become a boring experience it would be clear it was her idea. So, each Thursday we search the local paper for the latest locations for an estate sale. We know we do not need anything else for now is more of the time to begin deciding what to give away to family and friends. The estate sales, though, remind us that what we hold dear and scrapped up funds to purchase, can become “trash” for our offspring and even relatives. We are constantly reminded items we felt were so invaluable become sale items acquired and often offered a such a price below the actual cost at purchase. Our “treasures” were OURS and clearly at an estate sale we realize that our taste may not be shared with our children. I recently wanted to “pass on” certain paintings to my children. Sent them pictures and selected for them one I would send. Spent a bunch of money shipping them only to find in one instance, a painting remained against the wall in a room for three years. Never moved to a wall. In another instance before mailing was informed by one child that our taste in art was so different that I should not send it to them. The children were not ungrateful but at an age they are comfortable with saying “NO”, I don’t want that”. It was MY precious acquisition not theirs.
I was devastated but did not let them know of my disappointment. The estate sale reminds me of how temporary and fleeting life is. Acquisitions during our lifetime can become, after life ends, a distraction to our offspring. It is the chance we take when we purchase items. We are remined that it was purchased for our satisfaction. It may become a feeling not shared so either let go now of the belief that it will be relished or rest comfortable in your grave with whatever they decide to do with your belongings. Some one’s trash will always become someone else’s treasure. We have found so many “treasures” that time spent at an estate sale is invaluable quality time with your spouse or close friend.
It is a rewarding experience, but I still must decide how the rest of my life can have as much meaning as my work life did.
